song: shivers.
This morning, instead of schlepping to the library, I went for a drive. I drove around places where only trees stood just years before. If you left here five years ago and came back now, you would not recognize the place. Shopping centres, restaurants, gas stations, all newly planted. I guess we're making progress. But progressing towards what? I started thinking if I had changed over the last few of years. Friends who knew me long ago would certainly think so. But I don't believe that to be true. I think that I just found something deep within myself. Something that was there the whole time, burning to get out. Perhaps then I wasn't able to express myself or I didn't know how to find it or I didn't know how to evolve. And now I am who I want to be. And sometimes, it hurts.
Girl scout cookies are the devil. Belch. Cheese puffs too.
I just reordered The Bends and OK Computer because they are so scratched up and unplayable. I'm getting Kid A too. And I get them for free because I'm a music club whore.
So many things in my head and I can't get them out.
I want to sleep and dream. In dreams, you always feel like you belong.
Belonging. Maslow's hierarchy of needs. You have to take care of rudimentary things before you go on to the big stuff.
Sellout.
Fuck you.
I'm sorry.
Spring break is next week.
Breakdown.
A plague on both your houses.
I learned the truth at seventeen, that love was meant for beauty queens.
Suckcess.
Shred it.
I gotta get out of here.
This boy's very soul is at stake.