"Why are you grinning?"
"I don't know. I think it's a natural thing when somebody says you are something that you, yourself, think that you are not. Like if you have low self esteem and somebody tells you that you're smart or pretty. You naturally say, 'Stop it. No, I'm not.' All the while with a sweet and glowing smile."
And then we looked at each other and smiled.
song: higher and higher.
After writing a few of letters I got sick of writing. I had one sheet of paper left so I made a paper airplane. When I finished it, I inspected it and had a feeling it would not fly. It didn't. Barely cleared the table. I said, "That sucked." and picked up my failure. It is probably the most interesting thing that anybody in the library will do today. I left the plane on the desk and walked away. It's probably in the trash now.
When i left, I thought I saw somebody that I don't know at all. I didn't say hi. I'll never say hi. That's what I do. She was beautiful. I should have said, "You're beautiful." and nothing else. Say it and just walk away. Maybe that's what I should do. Look strangers in the eye and give them a terse account of what I think of them. The door to the lobby said PULL so I pushed. That's what I do.
My hair is unkempt. My body is exhausted of strength. I carry a scented amalgam of dirt, sweat, and metal. I feel as if I just had sex. And both you and I know...it has been awhile.